Political Acceptance Speech

Well - - We did it!

(Applause)

Thank you...

This campaign was about proving something to the people of this state...

We proved that you wanted to get big government off your back once and for all!

We proved that you wanted something done about the problems of immigration!

And we proved that a grown, claiming he represented the people of his home state, would drop his pants and bend over for any corporation with a lobbyist and a checkbook!

More important...

We proved that we could write laws that would directly benefit those corporations at the expense of the less affluent...

...And vote that legislation into law without letting the public know!

(Applause)

Yes! Thank you!

We couldn't have done it without the slickly-assembled attack ads that distorted my opponent's record and cast doubt on his personal behavior...

or the major news media, whom we routinely intimidated by calling them "liberal"...

But most of all, we couldn't have done it without you, the people of this great state!

You cynical, apathetic, ignorant, beaten-down sheep!

If there's one thing I've learned about you, the American people --

--it's that you--

--fear change!

That's why, as your senator, I've used carefully-crafted catchphrases -- like "family values" and "hiring quotas" and "fiscal responsibility" and "global competitiveness"...

...because they suggest my concern while barely concealing my contempt for every single one of you!

You know there are some people who have nothing better to do than tear down this great nation that you believe in!

But during my years in the senate, I've learned one important thing...

With enough time and money, you can manipulate the American people into accepting just about anything!

(Disclaimer: Relax, applies to both sides.)

Adapted from a comic book entitle "U.S.", written by Steve Darnall and Alex Ross, distributed by DC comics.